7 things to do after an accident on Indian roads

If you ever get involved in an accident in India (Which is inevitable the way we drive), please follow the following set of rules.

 

  1. Do NOT call the police.
  2. Are you at fault? Drive away. Hit and run cases in India drag for decades before police loses the case details. In case of a minor fender bender, police won’t register a case anyway so you are safe. Just drive away.
  3. If you don’t think you are at fault, leave the vehicle in the middle of the road till you settle the issue by fighting with the other driver. (See points 4,5 and 6 for the details on fighting). Any traffic jam caused by this is not your fault. Don’t move your vehicle to the side before you initiate the argument.
  4. If the other driver is physically weaker than you, beat him up for causing the accident. Doesn’t matter who was at fault.
  5. Are there more people in your vehicle than the other vehicle? Start a shouting match; abuse the other driver, his mother, sister and some other relatives. If they shout back, beat them up.
  6. Are there more people in other vehicle and they look physically stronger? Call up your friends and tell them “Panga ho gaya hai, jaldi aao”. Be diplomatic till your friends arrive, after that start showering abuses at the other party.
  7. If you are a VIP (Which in India means you are distantly related to a Politician, lawyer, policeman, journalist), tell the other guy that you will show him/her their rightful place and send them to prison.

 

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